3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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