Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
