there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
