I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The air was thick with penises
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
