there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
