You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
