did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
