So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
