umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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