gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Mom said you looked used
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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