We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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