She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
