do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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