erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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