it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
