i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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