Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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