sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
