I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
