some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
