The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize