I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize