i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
