Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
