What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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