Sponge bath it is.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
