I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize