I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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