8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Come on in and take your pants off
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