he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
that's an acceptable place to lick
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
