she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
