who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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