Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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