So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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