i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize