plz talk dirty to me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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