Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
