Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
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I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize