I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
