So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
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All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
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I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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