Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
