Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
