where does the pee come out of this thing
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
