nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
