Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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