Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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