what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
