I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
