i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
