she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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