You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
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You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
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I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
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