I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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