is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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