btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
