i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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